The Fretful Mother's Blog

Nice, gentle breezes can be relaxing, but that’s not what we have going on lately. Last night I woke up to what I thought was someone trying to bulldoze the house. I have no idea what the wind gusts are up to, but I’m guessing it’s around 200 mph.
It sounds like all the windows are going to break at any second. This would cause mass panic at my house, mainly led by yours truly. Instead of remaining calm, I’m pretty sure I’d start screaming at the top of my lungs for everyone else to remain calm. Then I’d run from room to room with bleeding feet as I picked up each cat and child and brought them to the safety of the window-free bathroom. I’m sure they’d all love to hang out in that 5’x5′ space together while I run the vacuum (cats love the vacuum). No one else will bleed during that ordeal.
Also, the vacuum may seem like the perfect tool for cleaning glass, but it’s not. I’ve discovered this firsthand during one of my many glass-shattering episodes. I vacuumed up an entire vase that way. When I went to use the vacuum the next time, it made a terrible groaning sound before spitting the thing back out on the floor. Though I was told this was a dumb idea, I still think it seems plausible and would try it again.
But, in the interest of avoiding bloodshed, I plan to build my next house underground where there is no wind. You can never be too safe.

This entry was posted on December 9, 2009 at 7:36 pm and is filed under Fear of the Day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.