The Fretful Mother's Blog

I’m beginning to think vegetarians may not in fact be vegetarians, as they are consuming my daughter. She made her “coming out” announcement on Halloween, and I kinda thought sugar products might have something to do with it. But she’s had several days/weeks/months without candy, and she’s still sticking to the whole no-meat thing. She does have one notable exception.
In all seriousness, she informed me she would allow herself to eat lobster. I nearly laughed out loud. Does PETA know about this? I think it’s pretty high on the list of things vegetarians should not eat. They are boiled alive after all.
And, living in the Midwest as a 9-year-old, how often does the opportunity to eat lobster come around? Maybe she is calculating the odds. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance for me. I can’t pass it up.” So I merely told her okay and am now planning a lobster dinner for Christmas. I can probably sneak some jello in there to really throw her off.
I must undermine her authority. If I allow her this, what’s next? Wearing only black clothing. Coloring her hair with Kool-Aid. Going to public school (and then skipping school). This doesn’t sound familiar at all. I must thwart her now before she gets carried away and starts her own blog. You can never be too safe.

This entry was posted on December 17, 2009 at 11:42 am and is filed under Fear of the Day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.