The Fretful Mother's Blog

The forecasters have “predicted” a rain-snow mix followed by one to three inches of snow for us tonight. This means we will either have some rain or we’ll get 10 inches of snow. But you never know for sure what will happen until it actually happens. The term “forecasters” really shouldn’t exist. If anything, they should say places within a 500-mile radius may have precipitation in some form. Because that’s all they really know. And fessing up like that would really make all of our lives easier.
Instead, let me “forecast” what will happen. In preparation for this major snowstorm, everyone will decide they need to leave work at 3 p.m., making the drive home much longer purely because of the increased traffic. Also in preparation for the Big One, these people will then need to stop at the grocery store and stock up on pop tarts and French toast supplies. Apparently you can only consume breakfast staples while the ground is coated in fluffy white flakes. It’s the only way to survive.
It is at that point that everyone remembers they threw out their shovels over the summer, apparently in some delusion that it would never snow again. So then they all head to the home supply store and debate over the best snow removal methods (keeping in mind that only rain has fallen so far). Then they receive a phone call from the kids asking them to pick up some sleds. Well, of course the store is sold out of sleds and they must then drive all over the town in search of sleds. The search leads to a dead end, and they are then forced to return to the grocery store and purchase large trash bags. Upon returning home, they are met with the disappointment of their children’s faces. Another Hoosier snowstorm.
And this is why I never clean out the garage or the pantry. Pop tarts have an indefinite shelf life (plus the kids would never know if they were stale anyway). And I don’t care if my husband has to use a 10-year-old shovel with a broken handle. Plus, we’re all just going to wake up in the morning and see the dead tufts of grass sticking up through the dusting of snow. Maybe we all should just skip the disappointment and move to Florida. You can never be too safe.

This entry was posted on December 18, 2009 at 9:25 am and is filed under Fear of the Day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.