The Fretful Mother's Blog

This term sounds so much more positive than telemarketers. But after two jumbo margaritas this is how I begin thinking of them. In my normal, uninebriated life I am wary enough of the phone calls from 800 numbers that I either don’t bother answering or I simply pick up the phone and say no thank you. Fortunately for my callers last night, it was a phone solicitor night.
I stumbled to the phone not once but twice to heed the call of the plea for monetary salvation. The first one was for children with cancer. Was I a mean, terrible person who wanted to kill kids with cancer? No? Well, I better give them $20. The second call was for legless orphans or something similar. I wasn’t sure at that point, but it sounded like I was probably responsible for offing their parents and removing their appendages. Twenty bucks was the least I could do. Once I got off the phone and cried about my appalling deeds (how could I have done that?!), I thought I should have at least sprung for the Truly Guilty level with a $30 pledge.
Of course I’m recovering this morning and looking back at my drunken rampage of the previous night. I’m lucky it wasn’t worse. What if someone had actually shown up at my house with a legless orphan, or even worse, a puppy? I would have adopted him/her/it immediately and would be looking at serious buyer’s regret this morning. From now on, I will need to turn off the phone, disable the doorbell and blindfold myself before I am allowed any drinks. You can never be too safe.

This entry was posted on December 23, 2009 at 9:25 am and is filed under Fear of the Day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.