Nothing can strike more fear in my heart while sitting at work than to have the phone ring and see it’s the HR department calling. I have to shuffle through the list in my head of all the possible offenses I’ve committed before answering. For some reason, I never believe they are calling for anything good.
Why don’t they call and say “it turns out we’ve been paying you less than half of what you should be making and we’re increasing your salary”? Or maybe “we’re thinking of firing your nemesis and would like to know your thoughts on the best way to let him/her know”? I could come up with a whole host of ideas on that one. Like hiring a replacement first and having them move into the office early one morning. Then when the former employee shows up to work, just act like you don’t know who they are. There are all sorts of mind games you could play.
This is never why HR calls, though. It’s always bad. It seems that someone is constantly filing a grievance (against someone else) and I need to tell my version of whatever I witnessed. Or they have a favor to ask. Either way, it’s not a happy call.
I’ve never actually been called down for doing something wrong, but it’s always a possibility. I start thinking about the extra copies I’ve made, personal use of the printer and lord only knows what Web sites I’ve visited (sometimes you go to things by accident). It might be less frightening if I just sat immobile at my desk for eight hours and couldn’t be blamed for doing anything wrong. At least they couldn’t say I wasn’t putting my hours in. Or an even better idea would be to develop a multiple personality (a bona fide medical condition) and blame things on the Carefree Mother. You can never be too safe.
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The Fretful Mother's Blog 
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