When I scroll through the guide on my TV, it indicates the number of channels to be in the 9700 range. This number seems excessive to me. I don’t even have the super jumbo package. I’m always complaining that I don’t have Bravo or the Food Network. How can I complain about anything with close to 10,000 channels from which to choose?
There must be a channel for everything. Travel, golf, “adults,” kids who are 12 and a half, and German women who like to braid their armpit hair. You name it, it’s got a channel. I know the kids have like 10 different Disney and Nickelodeon channels. Why don’t I have 10 different channels all geared toward me?
Wouldn’t it be great if there was only one channel and it had everything you wanted to watch on it all the time? Like a custom channel. You could plug in the shows you liked and topics of interest, and bam, Fretful Mother TV would be on air. And every week would be shark week! I could learn about all sorts of dangerous things to avoid. Of course my favorite would be a documentary on beach holes. I could probably put that together myself. Though that might involve getting perilously close to an actual beach hole, so maybe not.
I don’t know that I could actually handle a channel with stuff I wanted to watch on it all the time. I have a feeling that would really hamper my efforts to win my weight loss challenge. I have a tendency to watch TV and eat chips at the same time. Plus, I fall asleep without much warning, and when I wake up with the TV on, I have Poltergeist flashbacks. I don’t want to be sucked into the TV. And with the weight gain I might not even fit. I’d be only half sucked in, and it would be a big mess I’d rather avoid. I should probably call the Dish people right now and cancel my service due to the messiness their service could cause. You can never be too safe.
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