The Fretful Mother's Blog

As a general rule my hair is pretty clean. I use shampoo and conditioner along with minimal care products. So basically I shouldn’t consider it gross. But having hair somewhere other than my head just freaks me out. I look at strands of it in the bathtub and immediately want to wipe it out. It just does not belong there.
I feel like I spend most of the day thinking I have a hair on me. Like I know there is one stuck to the back of my shirt. It seems like I feel it brushing against my arm. I will do anything to get rid of this hair! I’ll stand in front of the mirror contorting myself in an effort to examine the entire backside of my body. And god forbid I spot one in an unreachable spot. I practically disrobe right there in my zeal to remove this offending head spawn.
And don’t get me started on what happens when I get one in my mouth. The gag reflex immediately kicks in. The spitting and hacking commence until the hair is expelled and properly disposed of. If I was on one of those reality shows where they have to eat something disgusting to win a million dollars and they wanted me to eat a delectable piece of ganache with a strand of my own hair on top of it, I couldn’t do it. The hair is just the ultimate in repulsiveness.
I think I’d be better off if I was a hairless albino. Of course that’s less repulsive, right? Or maybe if I started wearing hair nets even in the shower. You can never be too safe.

This entry was posted on January 20, 2010 at 11:10 pm and is filed under Fear of the Day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.