The Fretful Mother's Blog

Laundry is a never-ending chore, unless you are a nudist. As soon as you wash, dry and fold all the clothes from the hamper, you realize you are just wearing more clothes that will need to be cleaned. The job is never complete. As part of this realization, I’ve taken to limiting my laundry tasks to once a week or whenever the children run out of socks.

The other day I actually sent my son to school wearing one ankle-length black sock and one white tube sock. I’m sure the other mothers were horrified when their kids returned home with the news. However, this did not dissuade me from my neglect.

What really got to me was when I went to the gym the other night and headed to the locker room. As I was changing into my workout attire, I felt the strange stare from another woman. I doubted it was because she was admiring my flat abs. That’s when it hit me–I was wearing red velvet underwear. I had scrounged through my drawer trying to find something clean that morning, and that’s what I ended up landing on. On a normal day, this would not be brought to anyone else’s attention. But this day it was. I think there were even a few rhinestones on them.

And that’s when I decided I should be afraid of the laundry. The laundry needs to be done on a daily basis. We really shouldn’t even need hampers. As soon as the clothes are removed, they should go directly into the washing machine. The only other solutions I can think of are purchasing all new underwear or maybe even getting those disposable ones the spas use. I can’t decide if it was better to be wearing sexy underwear or granny panties. I’ll leave that decision to my locker roommate, whom I hope to never see again. I’m afraid this quandary might be leading me down the path of deciding between laundry and my gym membership. I only have a finite amount of time and energy. Do I want to be clean and fat or dirty and (somewhat) in shape?

This might be a problem only a Wendy’s hamburger can decide. I may go with option C: nudist. You can never be too safe.

This entry was posted on February 19, 2010 at 9:49 am and is filed under Fear of the Day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.