I was summoned to court today after receiving two tickets less than 24 hours apart at the end of January. The second ticket was for not producing a valid insurance card. The officer explained that I simply needed to appear in court and show my card. Upon arriving at court, I began to have my doubts.
I was not prepared for the other criminals with whom I was now associated. Everyone signed in and filed into these little chairs. We were informed there was to be no talking or cell phone use. I sat quietly with my hands folded trying not to breathe too deeply (I believe there is a strong correlation between crime and not showering).
I also made some other observations about my fellow soon-to-be-inmates. These are the same idiots from high school, in case you were wondering. They are invariably stuck in this mentality. After being told not to talk, they immediately begin whispering when the court officer turns around to take care of something else. When one woman sneezed repeatedly, no fewer than five men said “God bless you” no fewer than five times. And my favorite was the genius behind me who thought he needed to kick the back of my chair. Of course, as I always follow all the rules (why else would we have them?), I could not turn around and ask him to please pretend he was at least a preschool graduate.
The longer I sat waiting for my name to be called, however, the more I began to think I’d really gotten myself into some trouble. Most people had multiple arrest warrants and had failed to appear in court before. I started thinking I must practically be a felon. What if I got in front of the judge and he determined I needed to go to jail? What would I tell my work? Or the Girl Scout moms? I could feel my blood pressure rising.
Finally they called my name. I told the prosecutor I was guilty before even hearing the charges. If he had said I impersonated a police officer and robbed a bank, I would have said I was guilty. I just wanted this over with. I couldn’t stand the interrogation!
After being fined one dollar and fifty cents (I’m absolutely serious), the rest of the court laughed. I moved to the cashier and paid my debt to society. My heart did not stop racing for at least 30 minutes after the whole ordeal was finished though. I almost killed myself over this. In the future I think I will just carry a good $500 on me at all times in case a bribe is called for. You can never be too safe.
The Fretful Mother's Blog 
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