The Fretful Mother's Blog

I witnessed a giant squid attack last night. It occurred somewhere around 4 a.m. And it woke me from a dead sleep. It was one of those dreams that seems like a movie playing in your head. One minute I was enjoying a leisurely dinner and the next minute I was fending off giant squid.

It all started innocently enough in my dream. I was somewhere in New England preparing to fill my belly with clams with bellies (absolutely the best thing ever). I was at a nice restaurant, though I was alone at a table. The couple at the table next to me were getting upset that their food was taking so long to arrive, so the guy yells across the restaurant to the server and wants to know where his steak his. I calmly tell him that he’s a lot more likely to get his steak if he’s not so rude. He gives me a withering look, and then the server comes by with a steak for the guy and a quesadilla for the woman. Only in addition to this, they also receive a pig on a spit. It has an apple in its mouth and everything. The pig is spinning around and around on their table, and that’s when I realize it’s still alive.

The pig starts making terrible squealing sounds, so I tell the guy he is ruining everyone’s dinner. He seems sufficiently embarrassed this time and quickly gathers his wife and the pig and heads out. The next thing I know, I’m viewing these people’s house as if I have an aerial camera view. They live right on the beach. I’m admiring the waves when I notice all these squid start emerging from the ocean. They are menacingly scooting along as if they have a plan. I flash back to the inside of the house where Porky is now having a convulsion. A giant squid explodes from his mouth, and that’s when the real fun begins. All the squid converge on the house and start terrorizing this family. I was hoping the guy would get it first, but I woke up before any actual death occurred.

Anyhow, I spent the rest of the day scared of squid. Why would they suddenly attack like that? Why were they in the pig? Now I’m going to be scared every time one of the cats has a hairball. The only solution I can really think of here is if we all commit to eating as much calamari as we can. I’ll start the trend. You can never be too safe.

This entry was posted on April 13, 2010 at 9:31 pm and is filed under Fear of the Day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.