The Fretful Mother's Blog

Within the last few days, I’ve had my mother cut up my food, my 10-year-old daughter claim she was ready to drive and an 80-year-old woman volunteer to open the door for me. The reason behind all these things? Dinosaurs. (more…)

I witnessed a giant squid attack last night. It occurred somewhere around 4 a.m. And it woke me from a dead sleep. It was one of those dreams that seems like a movie playing in your head. One minute I was enjoying a leisurely dinner and the next minute I was fending off giant squid. (more…)

Let me apologize to all you bike enthusiasts before I begin. Now I will say what’s on my mind: bikes are dangerous! My daughter is riding her bike right now, and I’m about to have a heart attack. She is not the most focused child, and it’s clear to me that she is not thinking of all the possible calamities that could befall her. (more…)

I actually hate anything unexplained because I don’t know what caused it. And if you don’t know what caused something then you don’t know how to prevent it. For instance, why do I wake up every morning to find new bruises all over myself? (more…)

Yes, I’m afraid of the whole state. I felt like I was never going to get out of it. It keeps going and going and going, kind of like an Energizer battery. And the worst part is that they make you pay to drive through it. I think they must know that people really want to get to Colorado and would be willing to do anything to get out of Kansas. (more…)

For those of you who have not heard this before, my favorite foods are ice cream and cheese, closely followed by pizza. It helps that pizza involves lots of cheese. I like to think this is a combination of my dairy-farming and Italian heritage, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I just like awesome-tasting fat. (more…)

My daughter is only 9, but I feel the tweens fast-approaching. I’m already hearing the non-stop requests for a cell phone, rides in the front seat and solitary trips to the mall. Somehow that signifies her aging more so than height and breast development (of which I’m also not fond). (more…)

The number of threads in bed linens is extremely important. To some people. Not me. I have no idea what it means. All I know is that it costs more to have more thread. And I must have messed it up the first time because the seams in my sheets started coming apart about after a year. I decided to address this problem once and for all. (more…)

Being a writer, I work with paper on a daily basis. It’s good for lots of things. Writing on. Wrapping with. Blowing your nose into. And wiping your rear end down. These are things only writers do of course. But there is the hidden side of paper. You never know when it will attack. (more…)

I’m sure we’ve all seen the “Caution: Falling Rocks” signs along the highway, but most people probably aren’t on the lookout for boulders to come tumbling down. I think on some level I’ve always been concerned about this possibility, though I’ve never actually encountered this situation. This is not the case for some I-70 drivers. (more…)