The Fretful Mother's Blog

It always feels like I’m forgetting something every time I leave the house. It doesn’t seem to matter how much I plan. I will always get wherever I’m going and realize I’m missing something. I could go to the swimming pool and not bring a bathing suit, it’s that bad. (more…)

Nothing can strike more fear in my heart while sitting at work than to have the phone ring and see it’s the HR department calling. I have to shuffle through the list in my head of all the possible offenses I’ve committed before answering. For some reason, I never believe they are calling for anything good. (more…)

I’m rereading New Moon, which is the second book of the Twilight series. I suppose I’m a little obsessed with it. Anyway, there’s a part in which the main character believes her friend has gotten sucked into a cult (though it turns out he’s just part of a werewolf pack). But this made me start thinking about the danger of cults. (more…)

I’ve recently become addicted to the whole pedicure thing. I love sitting in those massage chairs and having someone pamper me from the knees down. And with the pedicure you can basically close your eyes, relax, and not have to worry about holding a conversation. This is not the case with a manicure. (more…)

I always have such high hopes for myself when it comes to the theater. Not in terms of performance, of course, but in terms of my ability to stay awake. Why I can’t see that the late hour, darkened room and absence of coffee equal sleepiness I don’t know. But I always suggest going to the late show. (more…)

So lately I’ve been getting a lot of leg cramps. They’ve even woken me up in the middle of the night and then made my legs sore the next day. This is a cause for concern for me. I decided to google it and determine what the Internet community has for my diagnosis. It turns out I’ve got deep vein thrombosis. (more…)

It’s gotten to the point where I’m visibly startled when the phone rings. It’s basically the same reaction as if someone suddenly popped out of the chimney accompanied by a reindeer with a glowing nose (or the emergency reindeer, as my son would say). I’m totally shocked, and then filled with all sorts of wild theories, every time the contraption blares out that dreaded tone. (more…)

I don’t even have a real tree and I have those pesky pine needles all over the place. I understand them being in the vicinity of the tree, but how the heck do they end up in my bed? I think it must be one of those Toy Story things in which they come to life when people aren’t around. (more…)

This term sounds so much more positive than telemarketers. But after two jumbo margaritas this is how I begin thinking of them. In my normal, uninebriated life I am wary enough of the phone calls from 800 numbers that I either don’t bother answering or I simply pick up the phone and say no thank you. Fortunately for my callers last night, it was a phone solicitor night. (more…)

The other day my daughter called me into her room and promptly locked the door. Of course my initial reaction was to look for other possible exits, but then I remembered she was 9 and I could probably take her down if it came to that. The situation deteriorated as she then proceeded to interrogate me about the purpose of belly buttons. Why did we have them? How deep did they go? What determines if you get an innie or an outie? And then she asked the most perplexing question of all: what happens if you get something stuck in it? (more…)