You may be one of those unlucky people who doesn’t always jump to the worst-case scenario. Worry not. Or maybe this should be a worry? Either way, I will worry for you. Let me know what you’re up to, and I’ll inform you of the dangers. Just when you think it’s safe, I will appear.
What are you so afraid of?
October 30, 2009Fear of the day: ceiling fans
October 30, 2009It seems to be a fear of a lot of those around me that I will run out of fears to write about. My sister said I need something more sustainable, like something I could write about 365 days of the year. I told her that is at least one thing I don’t have a fear about. I have an endless supply of things. Read the rest of this entry »
Fear of the Day: suggestive advertising
October 29, 2009And I’m not talking about explicit stuff either. I’m talking about stuff that I want to consume by mouth. Yesterday morning I briefly glimpsed a Wendy’s banner ad and was thus consumed all day. I don’t even like bacon on my burgers, and yet I had to have one. Read the rest of this entry »
Fear of the day: bridges
October 28, 2009I just read that a rod snapped on the Bay Bridge in San Francisco (where my husband is), and this of course reminds me of the bridge collapse in Minneapolis (where I once lived). After that incident, there were all sorts of reports of the crumbling bridge infrastructure. Read the rest of this entry »
Fear of the Day: cooking utensils
October 27, 2009I could combine this one with my fear of raw meat and scratching the surface off of my non-stick pans. I like to use wooden spoons to avoid the scrapes, but I’m concerned about the sanitation issues. There are so many little crevices in which bacteria can hide. I wonder what would happen if I used hand sanitizer on my spoons just before use? Or, better yet, maybe I could coat the food in hand sanitizer before serving it to the family. You can never be too safe.
Fear of the day: cereal
October 27, 2009Did you know that there is a specific amount of rat hair allowed in cereal? Yeah, like a number of particles per ounce of cereal or something. So every bite of cereal you eat could contain a little rat fur. Think about that when you reach for the next box of Cracklin’ Oat Bran. You can never be too safe.
Fear of the Day: birthdays
October 25, 2009I turned 34 last week. I’m one year closer to the end of everything. But hopefully this will be my worst year. I can’t imagine it any worse. But, as the song goes, every new beginning comes from some other beginnings’ end. So I’ll chart my next course. In the future, I plan to avoid birthdays. You can never be too safe.
Fear of the Day: flies
October 24, 2009Apparently flies can bite dogs and lay eggs under their skin. Then the eggs hatch into worms and feed off their victims. This happened to my friend’s dog last week. I presume the reach of the flies can extend to human beings. I will never look at flies the same. You can never be too safe.
Fear of the Day: blood work
October 23, 2009Free blood work provided at the office may seem like a good idea. At least it would put most people’s minds at ease. Unfortunately it leads to lots of confusing numbers. And when you check them out on the Internet (which I highly do not recommend to put your mind at ease), you then find that you will require a kidney transplant at some time in the future and probably do not have long to live. So next time I’d pass on the free blood work. You can never be too safe.
A glimpse into my mind…
October 17, 2009Most mothers entertain certain fears about the possible dangers their children may encounter. They probably include such things as riding a bike without a helmet, not wearing a seatbelt, running with scissors, and other mundane concerns. Those are the bottom of the barrel for me. I turn anything into a full-blown, pull-out-the-life-vests-and-eject-your-seat meltdown. Just so I state this upfront, my No. 1 fear (similar to Colbert’s Threatdown) is beach holes. You’ve probably never heard of this phenomenon that kills more people each year than do sharks. Don’t worry–I will inform you of the danger. They can be found anywhere sand occurs. (Here’s a link that includes a New England Journal of Medicine study on the problem: http://www.webmd.com/news/20070620/digging-holes-in-sand-can-be-dangerous?ecd=wnl_lbt_062707.)
You can never be too safe.