The Fretful Mother's Blog

These things are always waking me up with their incessant beeping. It’s annoying. And even after I tell it I would prefer to snooze, it just does it again nine minutes later. I wish there was a way to shut it up permanently and not lose my job or miss any flights. If only we lived in a world without time. Wouldn’t it be totally awesome if everyone did whatever they wanted whenever they wanted to do it? (more…)

Christmas time means lots of adhesives. Things like tape and glue (and children’s nasal discharge). My son wanted to wrap his gift to his sister this evening. I got the box all set up and asked him to get the tape. He couldn’t find it. I don’t know what this says about me, but my first thought was to use band-aids instead. (more…)

I should probably call it “facial tissue” to avoid the fear of being sued, but it will always be kleenex to me. Typically I’m a big fan of it. I keep it on hand for all those mom uses, and it usually comes through in a pinch. Though lately it seems to not be as sturdy as it used to be. (more…)

The forecasters have “predicted” a rain-snow mix followed by one to three inches of snow for us tonight. This means we will either have some rain or we’ll get 10 inches of snow. But you never know for sure what will happen until it actually happens. The term “forecasters” really shouldn’t exist. If anything, they should say places within a 500-mile radius may have precipitation in some form. Because that’s all they really know. And fessing up like that would really make all of our lives easier. (more…)

I’m beginning to think vegetarians may not in fact be vegetarians, as they are consuming my daughter. She made her “coming out” announcement on Halloween, and I kinda thought sugar products might have something to do with it. But she’s had several days/weeks/months without candy, and she’s still sticking to the whole no-meat thing. She does have one notable exception. (more…)

I’m not worried so much about falling down the stairs as I am falling up them. I seem to have a problem in being too anxious to mount the stairs. It’s probably some kind of metaphor for me or something. I think I really focus when descending because I don’t want to end up in a heap at the bottom with one leg grotesquely protruding from my head. But the stakes don’t seem to be as high when you are heading up. (more…)

I figure those who hang wreaths on their doors probably already have them up by now (just 10 more days ’til Christmas). There’s still plenty of time to take them down, however. And after I tell you about the dangers of wreaths, you’ll probably want to. They are really just an invitation to unwanted guests. (more…)

It was bad enough when it was a grade on my childhood report cards, but it’s even more terrifying when it’s posted on restaurant doors. Typically I prefer to eat food that has been properly handled and cooked. It’s just a thing I have. I don’t like to be stuck in the bathroom for three days after a meal out. No matter how good it tasted on the way in, it’s not worth it on the way out. (more…)

In case anyone was expecting something in the mail, I just wanted to let you know that I’m not doing Christmas cards this year. I have no time to purchase the cards, address labels, and stamps, let alone sign my name. And a letter would be totally out of the question. Plus I doubt anyone wants any well-wishes from the queen of pessimism. (more…)

Unbeknownst to me, someone who is oh-so-helpful with cleaning up left out one of my wine glasses. I did not see it while I was unloading the groceries and accidentally knocked it over. I figured it out when I heard the glass shatter. Nice surprise. And while I was upset about having to throw out one of my treasured pieces, what I’m most afraid of are the little invisible shards that remain. What was once a transport vehicle for goodness is now a transport vehicle for cutting up my insides. (more…)